Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl …’Will you marry me?’
The girl said,………………………. ‘NO!’
And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went
fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and whiskey and
had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted
whenever he wanted.
The end……………………………………….
A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her doctor recommended that she see the well known Chinese sex therapist Dr. Chang.
Each Friday night after work, Santa Singh would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a tandoori chicken and some meat kebabs. But, all of his neighbours were strict Catholics … and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating chicken and meat on a Friday.
The delicious aroma from the grilled meats was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their Priest. The Priest came to visit Santa, and suggested that he become a Catholic. After several classes and much study, Santa attended Mass … and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, “You were born a Sikh, and raised a Sikh, but now dear, you are a Catholic.”
(more…)
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said,
“Do you want to have sex?”
“No,” she answered.
I then said, “Is that your final answer?”
She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying “Yes.”
So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”
And then the fight started….
Comprehending Accountants - Take One
Two accountancy students were walking across campus when one said,
“Where did you get such a great bike?” The second accountant replied,
” Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a
beautiful woman rode up on this bike.
She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, ” Take
what you want. ”
The first accountant nodded approvingly,
” Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn’t fit. ”
Olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!
A woman went to her doctor. The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, ‘I’ve some bad news. You have cancer, and you’d best put your affairs in order.’
The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and
walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.
(more…)
Bob works hard at the office but spends two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday.
His wife thinks he’s pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.
A young boy went up to his father and asked him, ‘Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically?’
The father thought for a moment, then answered, ‘Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, ask your brother if he’d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that.’
(more…)
Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby’
The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely a Caucasian,
WHITE baby boy.
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